Frugal Moms Survive & Thrive

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Frugal moms strive to take care of their families, their homes, their jobs and everyone who counts on them, but a lot of moms, frugal or not, put themselves last almost all the time.

It's understandable. As caregiver, nurturer, chef, nurse and all around support system, other peoples needs become the priority.

Moms Challenges

"When Mommy's not happy, nobody is happy." -- I heard this somewhere once, and I believe it. I understand that in my household, especially since I'm a single mom, I set the tone. If I'm in an upbeat mood my kids tend to be agreeable, cheerful and cooperative.

If I'm a bit cranky, they will be withdrawn, or uncooperative and the foul mood usually spreads and gets worse. Like a virus.

So keeping a positive mood is important, but sometimes things happen that pull the rug out from under you, and as a mom you not only have to cope for yourself, but for your family as well.

Just like everyone, mothers face challenges that can sometimes be devastating, either emotionally, financially or both.

Sometimes things happen that are out of our control, or we have hard choices to make.

When these things happen the ideal situation would be to be able to step out of or lives and take a time out. For most of us that can't happen. We still need to work. The kids still need to be taken care of and the household needs to run.

For frugal moms on tight budgets it may be even harder to deal with a devastating event because of limited resources. But there are ways to get around limited funds and find the help you need.

• When friends and relatives offer help, take them up on it.
  Have a relative take the kids for a weekend so you can have some alone time, to heal from a shock, or wrap your head around your situation.
• Find a support group.
  Whether you're looking for an online or local support group you can start your search on the internet. You can also turn to your local Y, your church, or clinic to find groups, meeting times and locations.
• Take stock of the positive.
  Sometimes one thing can make everything else seem horrible. Take a moment to put things in perspective. You can usually find something positive in every bad thing that happens. If not, be determined to turn a negative experience into something positive for someone else.

Don't underestimate your family. Sometimes as moms, we want to hide bad stuff from our kids. We don't want them to see us cry, or be upset or even depressed, but the reality is we're not supermoms, we're human.

If you're going through a difficult time explain to your kids that you may be feeling a bit sad, or distracted and that you need them to be more helpful, or patient, or whatever it is you need to them to be while you work it out.

Not only will you get this additional support but you'll be teaching your children important life lessons about compassion, and cooperation.

Moms and Working

Sometimes the most organized frugal moms can become overwhelmed with her life and everything in it. This can happen with moms who work outside the home, at home, or who's primary job is handling their home and family.

I've never heard a mother in any of these situations that didn't struggle with some aspect of her choice. Moms like me, who work at home, can struggle with feeling isolated or not being taken seriously by other moms we come in contact with who work outside the home.

The pressure of trying to be everything to everyone can make an otherwise fun and fulfilling life, feel daunting.

Whatever your "job" is, there are things you can do to keep your household running smoothly, remain productive at work, and keep yourself and your family happy.

• Learn the importance of time management.
  Being in a perpetual hurry can make you mentally and physically tired. When your whole family operates that way it can create an atmosphere of chaos. Invest in a personal calendar and take some time to organize the family appointments and activities. Tell the kids what the new gameplan is and have them get on board.
• Be OK with saying "No".
  As much as you may want to, you can't be all things to all people. You also aren't a bottomless well of energy or time. Prioritize the people and tasks that must have your time and attention, remembering to keep yourself on that list, then be very selective when you're asked to volunteer, or do favors for others.
• Surround yourself with a good support system.
  This is especially important for single frugal moms. Keep a list of contact info for family, friends, and co-workers who can help you when the unexpected happens. Have a list of reliable repair services; a mechanic, an electrician, and a plumber on speed dial. Also find a trustworthy babysitter.

Knowing you're prepared for any emergency and have people you can count on will give you tremendous peace of mind.

Frugal Moms and Fitness

A frugal moms biggest challenge is probably her own well being. There is always someone else's needs that come before yours. I'm guilty of taking terrible care of myself at times because it's just easier not to make the effort "just for me".

• Fast food and junky snacks are faster and easier than stopping to prepare a healthy meal -- just for you.
• The money -- just for you-- to join a gym is "better spent" on something for the kids or the house.
• You sacrifice sleep so you can start your days even earlier.
• You feel guilty if you treat yourself to something that's not absolutely necessary.

All of this eventually leaves you exhausted; perhaps a bit depressed; and can make a significant negative impact on your health, and ultimately that affects your family negatively too.

Along with learning that having fun as a family was vital to our wellbeing, I now understand that taking care of myself, mind, body and soul is as necessary as taking care of the kids. Especially as I get older. ---Ugh, I can't believe I even typed that...but it's true.

Just because you're a frugal mom doesn't mean you should deprive yourself of much needed TLC. Here are a few ways to rejuvenate and keep yourself in good shape and good spirits for your family.

• Do not ignore or put off your regular exams.
  If you're feeling OK it's very easy to postpone your regular doctors appointments. But waiting until you feel like something is wrong can sometimes be a fatal mistake.
• Connect with your spiritual side.
  I am a big believer in the energy of the spirit and prayer. It can give you a sense of peace when there is chaos, and much needed clarity in times of confusion. If you aren't comfortable with prayer, try meditation, or simply taking some time to be still and clear your mind.
• Reclaim some "me" time.
  Cliche' as this may sound, light some candles and take a bath. Get a mani-pedi, or simply go do something you enjoy. Don't forget to pamper yourself a little. Even if it's chocolate ice cream and a Lifetime movie. Do it.
• Don't neglect your physical fitness.
  It sounds easy, but it can be difficult when you're pulled in many directions. Choose something simple like walking, yoga or simple aerobics and commit to at least 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week. You'll not only feel better but you'll be more energetic and more alert. A good sweat really does clear out the cob webs.

* When I was pregnant with my son it was a very high risk pregnancy. With my doctors OK I used the Leslie Sansone workouts throughout the entire pregnancy. They were fun, and low impact enough to do even in the final weeks. After an uneventful pregnancy, and the birth of a healthy boy I weighed less and was in better shape than BEFORE I got pregnant. -- I highly recommend these workouts for anyone looking for a fun way to work out at home...and who's gotten their Doctors OK. ~ Alicia

Frugal moms don't have to short change themselves when it comes to taking care of their needs. At least not all the time.

In the coming weeks FFM will be introducing information about how to take care of your mind, body and spirit, while still sticking to your budget.

More Tips for Frugal Moms to Survive & Thrive



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